A Conversation With My Financial Advisor

Advisor: “I see you’ve put together a budget. That’s good. Let’s have a look at it. Savings…good. Retirement account with company matching…good. Roth IRA…good. I see you’re diversified, that’s good too. Hmmm, what’s this? I see you’re pretty heavy on this entry–this “W” entry. What is that? Are you investing with William Blair? Winston Hill? The Woodbridge Group?”

Me: (Shifting uneasily in my chair) “Uh, no, that’s my wine allotment.”

Advisor: (Long pause as he stares at me over the top of his glasses the way my math teacher stared at me when I explained I didn’t need to show my work because I did all the work in my head) “Your what?”

Me: (Feeling more uncomfortable now) “My wine allotment. That’s…what I’ve…been setting…aside for wine…” (trailing off).

Advisor: (Still staring) “Kris…” (Another long pause and I recognize the face of someone struggling for words to describe the lunacy of my poor judgment. I recognize this face on people instantly now thanks to a lifetime of lunacy and poor judgment). “Kris” (repeated for effect), you can’t continue on this financial path. You’ve really only been contributing significantly since 2003.”

Me: (Brightening somewhat because I was about to drop a great line) “That was an awesome California vintage!” (Immediately wishing I could take that one back).

Vinyl Wines 2009 EQ Grenache, Walla Walla

*Bottle #111: Vinyl Wines 2009 EQ Grenache, Walla Walla

*Price Tag: $25

*Running Tab: $1,400

*Retailer: Homie-hook-up

Chip McLaughlin of Vinyl Wines is masterful at the art of sorority girl style hazing. After social media attacks of the wine kind and four guilt-infused invites to Seattle area events for his Walla Walla winery that I had already missed (I’m really busy!), I finally made it to an outdoor tasting of his wines at Madrona’s most adorable recent addition, the Bottlehouse.

Sweater-clad in 70 degree Seattle weather, McLaughlin looks the part of a gentrified Capitol Hill refugee, transplanted to Walla Walla and clinging on to his city remnants for dear life. With a smile, McLaughlin effortlessly romances the crowd of middle age ladies as they giggle and sip his rose, listening to his every word as he paints the picture of his winery concept for his audience without a stutter in his stroke.

With his business partner, Spencer Richards, McLaughlin launched Vinyl Wine as an ode to new wine experiences. Offering to take wine to the next level with a music industry tie-in, Richards and McLaughlin handpick their wines alongside of their music. Each bottle label is detailed with its individual guitar riff, more often than note, a sentimental favorite of McLaughlin’s.

With the purchase of each bottle, Vinyl offers digital playlists available for download through a passcord on the cork. The playlists include local and national artists, and of course, McLaughlin himself strumming to his modern rockabilly cross house music fusion.  

Otis Kenyon 2007 Matchless Red, Walla Walla

*Bottle #110: Otis Kenyon 2007 Matchless Red, Walla Walla

*Price Tag: $22

*Running Tab: $1,400

*Retailer: Homie-hook-up

James Otis Kenyon was a bona fide bad ass.

Rumored to be the profession with the highest suicide rate, James was a struggling dentist and couldn’t take it any longer when a new practice popped up in his small town of Milton-Freewater, OR. He snapped. Instead of taking it out on himself, James took his competition down. Literally – with a fire that took the building to the ground.

Judgment from the townsfolk and banishment by his wife led James to a disappearance that lasted nearly 50 years and took his family to Walla Walla. James was a mystery and presumed dead to his sons and grandchildren until his grandson, Steve, was able to locate him on the Oregon coast and reunite the family. Passing on at the ripe age of 101, James was able to see his family relationships replenish and establish a valid redemption, leaving a positive legacy in his name.

The motive for James’ actions are still unknown, however, Steve deemed his grandfather enough of a rebel hero to slap his silhouette on his label for Otis Kenyon Wines.

Like Wine, Even “the Whip” Matures

“I bought him the most adorable Phoenix Suns shirt,” my friend said, as he calmly stirred his coffee. I hadn’t seen him in fifteen years and I couldn’t believe my ears. This coming from the guy I partied my way through Europe with. This coming from the guy who squandered most of his twenties with me as a ski bum in the Bavarian Alps. Coming from his mouth, it couldn’t have been more at odds with how I remembered him than if he started the conversation with, “Ya know, the great thing about cancer is…”

This guy had been the human equivalent of the Tasmanian Devil from the Bugs Bunny cartoons. He was the guy you invited to your party to help get it going but then secretly hoped would leave before he set your closet on fire and convinced all the other party goers to dance around the blaze while beating on your pots and pans. He was the guy whose exuberance, mirth, zeal, and outright madness could not be contained in a simple name, and had to go by a nickname. And now, fifteen years later, there he sat, The Whip, right across from me, tame, and talking about his child. The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree, I mused as his little boy turned a bag of sugar upside-down on the kitchen floor.

One Wine Weekend: Vintage Walla Walla & Entwine

Greater Than the Sum of its Parts

In 1928, Harry Burnett Reese, a foreman for Milton S. Hershey and a dairy farmer, got inspired by Hershey’s candies and headed down to the basement of his house, emerging again with his newly invented Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Combining peanut butter with Hershey’s chocolate, it was the beginning of a new candy empire, the H.B. Reese Candy Co., later obtained by The Hershey Company. Finding two great things that are even better together, Reese stumbled upon the maxim, “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”

In much the same way, the folks at the Walla Walla Valley Wine Alliance (WWVWA) took a good look at two great wine events in Walla², and combined them through a process of logistical alchemy, formulating the new One Wine Weekend. Like chocolate and peanut butter, the combination of the Vintage Walla Walla and Entwine events results in one colossal, delicious wine gig that’s greater than the sum of its parts.

Before I get into the details of the event, let me just say that when we toured Walla Walla last, we spent three gorgeous days zipping from winery to winery as fast as we could, trying to see as many as possible before time ran out like we were going for the grand prize of Supermarket Sweep with nothing but wine in our baskets. And, while you can’t throw a cork in Walla Walla without hitting a winemaker, it still would have been great (logistically speaking) to round ‘em all up, talk to them and sip their wines without running around like our pants were on fire.

I thought it was like somewhere someone had been listening when Taste Walla Walla came to Seattle. It was a great chance to try a whole lot of Walla² wine poured by a whole lot of Walla² winemakers in one room, and it was a fantastic event. Turns out, though, that I missed the context of Walla Walla. I missed drinking wine in the historic downtown, and in tasting rooms scattered around the Airport District and South Walla. It’s not hard to see how you can get more of a sense of place when you’re smack-dab in the middle of that place.

And, that’s why I’m so thrilled about the upcoming One Wine Weekend.