How the Lottery Will Change My Life—and My Wine Purchasing Habits

I just bought another Power Ball lottery ticket and I have a really good feeling about this one. I know I’ve said that before but this time I mean it. I’ve not won this game in something like eight straight attempts so what are the chances that can keep happening? Here’s a short schedule of how my life will change after Wednesday’s number picks:

Day 1) My first purchase will be new socks and underwear.

Day 3) Winner’s press conference. The lottery holds this event to let everyone know that if a schmuck like me can win, you probably will too. My plan is to wear a fruity Carmen Miranda hat, big Elton John sunglasses, a wrestling singlet, a feather boa, and while holding a poodle that’s been dyed pink, I’ll look straight into the camera and proclaim that this money will not change me one bit.

Day 4) This is the day I’ll begin my long descent. Drunk with wealth, I’ll forget my friends and begin to only hang out with the famous and social elite. I’ll attend endless parties, get caught intoxicated and naked in my neighbor’s shed, get filmed trying to steal a llama, and be arrested for doing a Southern Baptist snake-handler dance at a children’s petting zoo. During one of many arrests, I’ll take the most unflattering mug shot ever by the rich and famous (and I’m including Nick Nolte’s).

Speed Dating with Wine

Judging for Sexy Syrah at Salty's on Alki

A few months ago, some buddies of mine sat in a bar and had a heyday trying to imagine me going through the rigors of speed dating. Knowing me well, they came up with example after example of dealbreakers that would have me circling my finger in the air in the universal gesture signifying, “it’s time to rotate.”

Me: Hey, how do you feel about Salinger?
Her: I don’t know, I think I may have read Catcher in the Rye when I was in high school.
Me: NEXT!

Me: What do you do with your free time?
Her: Oh, when I’m not out with friends, I chill at home watching TV.
Me: NEXT!

Me: So, do you like Tom Waits?
Her: Who?
Me: NEXT!

OK, so I’ve earned a reputation for being starkly opinionated, for sizing women up rather quickly, determining with a few pieces of information that she’s “not my type,” moving straight to summary judgment after opening statements and sentencing them to life in the Friend Zone. I’ve been called picky, unrealistic and worse. I’m not a hater; I just figure I’ll know it when I see it.

But, the same isn’t true with wine. I typically like to spend some quality time with a bottle. Get to know it. Ask it a lot of questions. Be a good listener.

“Where are you from?”
“What kind of food do you like?”
“What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?”

I like to spend intimate time alone with a wine, and also to introduce it to my friends–will they get along? I like to imagine what a wine will look like when it gets old–will it become dignified or haggard? I like to see if a wine is fun or serious, simple or complex, consistent or flighty. Does it have secrets, or go right to TMI? Is it practical or exotic? Will it still be beautiful in the morning? I like to really get to know a wine before passing judgment, because unless it’s just overtly offensive upon introduction, you never know, this could be “the one.”

Because of this, it was surprisingly difficult to be a judge at the recent Sexy Syrah event at Salty’s on Alki, organized by David LeClaire of Wine World Warehouse and Seattle Uncorked.

Fortune Favors the Bold: Tre Nova “Bonatello” 2008 Sangiovese

"By Jove, I think he's got it!"

In 29 BC, according to tradition, Caesar Augustus commissioned the poet Virgil to construct an epic poem for Rome that would rival Homer’s Iliad. If Rome was going to be a big deal, it needed a literary history that could rival the celebrated mythology of Greece. So, for the last ten years of his life, Virgil tasked himself with writing the Aeneid, a story of a prince fleeing Troy at the time of its destruction, landing on the shores of Italy, and founding a city that would later become Rome. Of course, no epic would suffice without a bunch of mystical intrigue, so Virgil borrowed the gods from the Iliad, and gave them new monikers that better suited the time and place of his story. Thus, Zeus was reborn as Jupiter, or Jove.

2,022 years later, winemaker Gino Cuneo founded Cuneo Cellars, and set about making Italian-style wines in the Pacific Northwest. Borrowing Italian winemaking techniques, and pioneering the planting of Italian wine grapes in the Northwest (in 2002, Gino and Jim Holmes of Ciel du Cheval Vineyard planted the first commercial certified Brunello clone of Sangiovese in North America), he aimed to make wines that had the key characteristics of those made from the varietal in its native environment, while still allowing for the unique expression of the new terroir in which it’s grown. In my mind, his task was much like that of Virgil–adapting a longstanding tradition for a new time and place.

The term Sangiovese derives from the latin phrase, Sanguis Jovis, or “Blood of Jove.”

Chatting with my local wine steward Yancy Noll the other day, I was shown and recommended a bottle from Gino Cuneo’s latest label, Tre Nova. He said it was a Washington Sangiovese that actually tastes like Sangiovese. And, it’s only $14.99. I snatched it up, eager to give it a go.

Similar But Different

The Nissan 270Z was developed in Japan by a group of young, hyper ambitious engineers. Each of them had the goal of performing the engineering equivalent of castration on the others. Given the task of creating the meanest, fastest, most wicked sports car on the road, they used their ambition, their youth, and their zeal to do just that. If they failed, plenty of hungry, young engineers eagerly stepped over them to do it right. Failure meant remaining behind with the hari-kari knife during the company picnic.

Right from the first line on the sketch pad there was anger and aggression. The poster on the office wall read, “Remember Hiroshima,” and this spirit seeped into the car’s plans. When sitting alone in a room next to the blue-prints, one often felt nervous as if in the presence of a menacing entity.

From design process to assembly, more aggression spilled into the prototypes. Menace grew during every stage and came to a crescendo in the final production where factory workers turned the screws in a way that spoke speed, applied lube in a manner that reeked of revenge, and sprayed paint with the samurai’s spirit of victory fresh in their heads. Weaker models were crushed into scrap right in front of the victorious models. The car was born with an aggressive, ruthless soul that hungered for victory.

Hestia Cellars 2008 Merlot, Columbia Valley

*Bottle #109: Hestia Cellars 2008 Merlot, Columbia Valley

*Price Tag: $28

*Running Tab: $1,400

*Retailer: Homie-hook-up

I’m not dead. I’m not in a ditch, my typing hands aren’t broken nor do I even have a cold. I have zero excuse for being a lazy mofo for my blog and fanatical readers (hi, Mom). For that, I apologize and ask for you to reflect on the seven other times I’ve done this in the past three years. You forgave me then, you have to now. Baby. Baby, please.

Back in the New York groove, I am, with writing guns a’blazin’ and a palate so thirsty a camel would be embarrassed.

I’ve been harboring a few bottles from Hestia Cellars in my mini fridge and felt the need to consume. Hestia, a recently relocated Woodinville winery (they were producing in Carnation before), is in the process of revamping their public image – hence the move. With the hiring of a new sales and marketing manager, a progressive social media presence and putting winemaker/owner Shannon Jones’ face in the spotlight, Hestia is certainly “in the scene,” as the hipsters would say.

Christening the label after the Greek goddess of hearth and home, Hestia is a family run operation who believes that “great wine isn’t explained, it’s uncorked.”

The Great White Migration

I can tell it’s spring again because the white wines are returning. One by one they show up, back again from whatever home they make for the winter, and settle into their summer grounds on porches and at picnics. As more and more arrive they begin to drive out the reds. With the warmer temps and longer days I start to spot the first Pinot Grigios here and there shortly after the snow is gone. Then, a few weeks after the last wind-chill advisories, the first Chenin Blancs appear. A friend of mine recently told me he spotted a Rosé downtown someplace, but that may just have been a fluke; one rogue glass that arrived too early and way ahead of the others. Or maybe my friend got it confused with a cranberry juice; the two have a very similar appearance.

The last to arrive are usually the Sauvignon Blancs. To attract them, try putting some goat cheese or feta on a small serving plate outside on a picnic table on a warm, sunny day. Last week my wife and I were excited to find a nesting pair in our refrigerator door so we expect to see a lot more of them this summer. Rieslings are attracted to almost anything, but it’s still fun to see them show up. Chardonnay is one white that stays throughout the entire winter. To attract Chardonnay put out some Brie. I still have not spotted the more elusive Viognier or Gewürztraminer. I typically see them arrive with the summer salads, gathering around light fish and spicy Asian foods.

Hop Scotch in Review: A Cause to Drink and Drinking for a Cause

Recently, I had the pleasure of going to SIFF cinema for an afternoon of Sci-Fi short films. It was a good laugh, an impressive display of low-budget special effects, and an awesome display of talent. I realized, as I sat chuckling and shoving Junior Mints down my throat, that this was the kind of event that makes Seattle the city it is. I believe in this kind of event. It’s not often that one gets to see up-and-coming filmmakers ply their trade and introduce themselves to the world, in a non-pretentious setting with quality sound and audience. I remember thinking, “If only I could do more to support it.”

I could, of course. I could take the money I usually spend on drinks and donate it. Or, it turns out, I could donate my drink and drink it, too.

Enter Hop Scotch Spring Beer and Scotch Festival.

Hop Scotch is a benefit for SIFF, now about to launch their 37th annual festival, with the mission of bringing communities closer together through film. An appropriate relationship, then, with a festival that brings together such diverse groups as beer-swillers, wine-swirlers, Scotch-sippers, tequila-slammers, and cigar-smokers in the creatively decorated Fremont Studios. Walk in and discover over 60 different beers, representatives of 5 local wineries, learn to taste a variety of scotch or tequila, and do it all while rubbing elbows with a friendly crowd to throbbing music. Music too much? Relax in the Heineken Green Room, or slip out to the deck and enjoy a cigar (in the rain, of course, but this IS Seattle, so you should be used to that by now). Having read all about this event, I was obviously excited for the opportunity to combine two of my favorite things, drinking and charity, so it was with much anticipation that I approached the entrance to the event.

Learning About Wine is Remotely Complex

The entertainment system in my living room requires seven remotes. That’s not true; actually there are eight but I don’t know what one of them is for. Making the system work the way I want has been a decades long study (I suppose I could get up off the couch and push the buttons manually, but c’mon–really?). I also know there is such a thing as a master remote where one device will do the job of all seven (eight) but I’ve seen them and they look like the control panel in a nuclear facility. Their instruction pamphlets are only slightly smaller than the Sears catalog.

Because I’ve grown up with the system, I know I can’t go straight from TV mode to the DVD setting and expect to watch my Lord of the Rings trilogy (well, I can but the subwoofer won’t work and you need the subwoofer for the Nazgul scenes). I must first switch to DVD to get picture, then to CD for sound, and then watch the movie with the system set on CD. Any other method will not give me access to all sound features. I also know I have to point the correct remote straight at the TV and away (yes, away) from the cable box to turn on cable TV. To listen to my iPod through the system, I select the VCR feature.

Lake Chelan Winery: A Look At Four Wines

Lake Chelan is one of the largest lakes in the United States, spanning over fifty miles in length. Its banks are steep, and its waters are deep. So deep, in fact, that when I was a kid, camping along the shores of Lake Chelan, we told stories of how there were parts of the lake where scientists hadn’t yet discovered the bottom. There were campfire tales of a Chelan equivalent of the Loch Ness Monster named Ogopogo (told and retold by residents today), and ghost stories about a school bus chock-full of kids careening into the lake’s depths, never to be recovered, leaving a gang of ghastly schoolchildren to haunt the Lake Chelan shores.

The size of the lake is good for more than legend and ghost stories. It contributes to a micro-climate that led Chelan to become Washington’s eleventh AVA in 2009. The size of the lake keeps the water cold, and being at the base of the surrounding hills, it creates what they call the “lake effect,” effectively functioning as a heat sink drawing heat down the slopes and cooling things down. Lake Chelan is a chill-pill for more than just summer vacationers; it creates a longer growing season, mild temperatures and reduced risk of frost.

The first production vineyard in Chelan was planted by Bob Christopher and Steve Kludt in 1998, replacing acreage previously dedicated to apple orchards–a trend that continued in North Central Washington with the fall of the Washington apple market. In 2000, the Kludt Family became the first bonded winery in Chelan County, and the next year, they bottled their first wine from Lake Chelan Winery. There are now fifteen winery members in the Lake Chelan Wine Growers Association.

We recently took a look at four of the wines from Lake Chelan Winery. What we found was a body of wines that have full flavor, sturdy structure, and moderate alcohol levels that bring the fruit to the forefront to be examined and relished.