The Sockit Wenches: A Crash Course in Wine

Last night, I was invited to join Sarah Carlson from The Tasting Room while she conducted a Wine 101 class for none other than the Sockit Wenches, a roller derby team in the Rat City Rollergirls league.  While it was clear that I would be Sarah’s “bitch” for the night (keeping people’s glasses full while she waxed eloquent about wine), how could I decline an invitation to hang out with the lovely ladies of one of the most notorious teams in the league while they drank some great Washington State wine?

For those of you who aren’t familiar with roller derby, the idea here is for the “jammer” (Miss Fortune, in this case, who is also the team captain) to out-race the members of the other team, while her teammates block and clear the way for her.  Points are scored by how many opponents you pass as you whiz around the track in old-school quad skates.  Basically, these chicks are urban professionals by day, and badasses at night, complete with clever pseudonyms intended to intimidate anyone who would skate in their way (e.g. Jackie Hammer, Moe YaDown, Raven Mad, Sister Piston, Shovey Chase,Sugar N. CreamHer, Bonnie Collide, Holley KnockHers, and many others).  I imagine them having to explain bruises to co-workers in Fight Club fashion.

We arrived at the gorgeous home of Ruby Red, and set up shop while she andMiss Fortune arranged a metric ton of food: cheeses, vegetables, dips, breads and crackers (much more food arrived later). Wines were chilled, wines were uncorked, and I may have drooled on some of them. Of course, I brought copies of WINO Magazine for everyone to enjoy. 

More Sockit Wenches and a couple of roller girls from the Derby LiberationFront kept trickling in, and eventually, there were enough attendees to start the class, and I was happy to pour the wines while Sarah gave a crash-course in wine.  We poured Mountain Dome’s sparkling cuvée, Wineglass Cellars’ no-oak Chardonnay, Harlequin’s Chenin Blanc, Wineglass Cellars’ Sangiovese rosé, Wineglass Cellars’ Capizimo blend, and Harlequin’s Minnick Vineyard Syrah. 

The roller girls were full of questions, comments, and could get pretty chatty between themselves once the wine was flowing, but Sarah handled the distractions with aplomb. Team matron Hot Flash was brilliant enough to suggest a rearrangement of furniture to force the girls to pay attention, which was a brilliant strategy that worked for about half an hour.

After the lectures, the night devolved into a more traditional party, everyone hanging out, and drinking a lion’s share of wine and beer.  It was a great time, and I was glad to meet the rollergirls of the Sockit Wenches.  I’m not going to miss their next bout on August 16.