Wine Accessories: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

The Internets are a wondrous place, full of fanciful idealisms, high-strung commentary, and wine accessories that you must own, being you are the consummate wino. For the sake of brevity and the well-known fact that a picture is worth 1 billion words, I give you your images/accessories of the day. Cheers.

Wine Spoons.

What the fuck do I need a wine spoon for? I for one drink a hell of a lot more wine in a single sniff than could be had in one of these “spoons.” Perhaps if they were just a bit, oh I don’t know, shinier.

Ah, there we go. Something I can see my face in, unlike the pretentious “wine glass” that can only manage to pass light rather than reflect it. Still, I’m not quite getting the sip I aim to enjoy. I ain’t no wine sipper, sir, I’m a swiller.

Clearly, a shitty design. Moving on.

Wine “Holders”

Outside of my hands, I can’t really pictures a better method of holding a glass of wine. However, a few genius types have imparted upon the word THE ACCESSORIES.

1) A picnic with the ol’ lady

I can’t think of a single bad thing to say about this design. Excepting for the fact that when we went to drive it into the water-soaked grass, I didn’t apply exact pressure on either side of the stake, which caused me to snap the “table top” off and sprain my wrist in the process. Fuck you, pretty-picnic-wine-holder designer guy. Or girl.

Fail.

Acceptable.